the right perspective

Every Monday afternoon, I feel like it's a struggle to get excited for Diakonos. Classes in the morning and worrying about upcoming homework deadlines and things to do often bog me down and get me thinking, "Okay, I'll work on this up until 6:30, then go to Diakonos, come back, and start on this, this, and this. It's gonna be a long night." Sometimes I try hard to fight it off, but other times it's not until the prayer together that I can stop thinking about these deadlines and about myself.

I think it's amazing how every single time, God is gracious to me. By the time we split up to go back to our campuses, I think, "Wow, God. You are so much bigger. You are so loving. You are so amazing." Hearing people's stories at Love Park and the subway station, God fills me with compassion and also the right perspective I think - the perspective that God is the only thing worth living for, that He is constant loving us and constantly caring for us. His heart breaks for every person who is down, and He rejoices when we come to Him for strength and love.

It's been getting better on Monday afternoons before I go when I remember His constant faithfulness. Going to really fight this week to keep telling myself the truth that God is so much bigger and better than my worries. Praying for less of me and more of Him because He's their only hope and our only hope.

3.15

"Live in such a way that men may recognize that you have been with Jesus and have learned of Him." Spurgeon

When I asked if you would like a bite to eat, I really meant can I hear your story. I wanted to know your name, pastimes, interests, skills, experiences and tell you about myself in return. You had been living safely, saving your money instead of joining your friends in Vegas as they squandered their share away. You worked regular blue collared jobs, in construction, hospitality, and the like because you never got the chance to go to college. You liked that I was a college student and encouraged me to continue my studies. You thought things were alright but then somewhere along the way you lost your job and found yourself here by coincidence.

Now you hop between distant relatives and the streets looking for a place to rest your head. You were shivering and said that the weather always bothered you, it makes you not want to be active. I told you that the weather was going to be much better this week and that I was looking forward to it because I was from Arizona. You've been in Arizona, and you said the weather was nice. But I saw the worry and anxiety in your tired eyes. Hunger was always the immediate problem because you never knew when you would be able to relieve it. It was easier to get food in the suburbs you said, the city was too crowded. You told me that it was hard to put aside your pride to find a meal and that the struggle wasn't just in the surroundings. You said: "I'm a different egg in the basket," and that you had never really met anyone like yourself before. Then you apologized for not being coherent all the time because you weren't all there. You kept repeating to yourself that you hadn't really accomplished anything despite your age and that you hope opportunities will turn up.

Thank you. You told me that it had been awhile since you got to talk to anyone, that people just come and go with the occasional conversation of maybe three minutes. I'm truly grateful for the time you gave me and for the conversation we had. I can only pray that my words gave you at least some warmth and comfort. Dave, I'd like to speak to you again, or at the very least, lend you my ear.

Pictures from 3/15

[Look at that form]

[Charles hard at work]

[You can't hide!]

[Hard at work]

[Prayer time]

Monday March 1

Hmm…Where should I start?

Christmas Day 2009, I went down to Center City with two of my friends; one happened to be a brother from GCC. We had the snack packs ready to hand out to those in need of them. We gave some away at Love Park before we made our way down to Concourse. I’m not going to lie but I was surprised by how many homeless were down there. Good thing the police had a day off. The GCC brother brought us over to meet one of his friends. He was a homeless, too. What a nice guy was all I could remember about this friend of his. There was a woman sitting next to him…or more like the other end of his bench. She was sitting in the most polite way, but I knew she was cold. Her face was beautiful but it was her eyes that I noticed. I’m not an expert whatsoever, but I could tell she’s been through a lot. I handed her a snack pack and hoped to start up a conversation. She accepted the snacks but didn’t say anything. I tried talking to her but she wouldn’t answer me. Maybe she didn’t speak English? Well, the homeless guy shared with us that she doesn’t speak to anyone. I don’t know why but that made me rather sad? I didn’t know what to do at that moment. When we said goodbye to this nice homeless man, I looked at the Caribbean woman, smiled and said, “Merry Christmas…” When we walked off, I saw her smile…Well that’s what I think. I didn’t look back because I wanted to believe it really was.

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, I saw her again that Monday...the first time since Christmas. I recognized her right away. It was probably her eyes, still filled with the same sadness and pain. When I saw her, I couldn’t help but find myself smiling. I gave her a sandwich and a bottle of water. She accepted them graciously but still not a word from her. I wasn’t discouraged though. I really believe that it’s all part of God’s plan. Maybe he has given me another chance to speak to this woman? Will she talk though? I don’t know. All I can do is continued to pray for this woman and ask that God will softening her heart.

So brothers and sisters please keep this Caribbean woman in your prayers. I know it has only been my third or fourth time doing Diakonos…or maybe I’m being silly but I really believe that God is using me to reach out to this woman…and I believe he’s doing the same with all of you, too.