Hi Diakonos,

So this week's outing was really interesting because I saw how God works to build relationships within the homeless community. Jenny, Kathryn and I first ran into Joe and Antonio, and the two of them were like best friends - joking around, punching each other playfully, sharing food..etc. But the smiles on their faces were so geniune it's like when they have each other life weighs a lot lighter on them. Afterwards we walked to the other side of the station and ran into Cherl (?) and this Spanish-speaking guy(I didnt catch his name though). Cherl couldn't speak Spanish at all but then the two of them would still have "conversations". The man would say something in Spanish and Cherl would nod and signal ok even though he didnt have the slightest idea what that guy had just said. For a while Jenny and I thought that they were actually communicating. I think these two men are just there to keep each other company.

I reflected upon that and I realized how important it must be to not just have acquaintance in the homeless community, but actual friends. No matter how hard we try, we can't possibly be there for the people 24/7 and sometimes we would even forget the names of the people we talked to. While we try to provide for them physically, it is hard for us to really take care of them emotionally (and spiritually). I think that God has blessed some of these men with real friendship so that these people can find identity and value through these relationships. Knowing how easily people can get bitter about their circumstances and thus lose trust in others, selfless or geninue friendship must be rare. But then seeing both relationships between Joe and Antonio and between Cherl and Spanish guy have been a blessing to me 'cause I saw God's mercy and provision.

Oops.

I should have posted last week...
We should have brought those pamphlets with us...
I should have given him better directions so he could get to Meyerson...
I shouldn't have given out Maria's clothes...


Huh?


Yeah, I shouldn't have given out Maria's clothes...


So, Rena, Grace, and I all headed out around 6:30 or so.  We had a good time: we got rid of most of the clothes right away (including some small women's items) and headed to the concourse to see if we could encounter any familiar faces.  We ran into Richard and met his friend from New Orleans who'd been displaced because of hurricane Katrina.  While Rena and Grace talked with them, I talked to a man who was trying to get help for a woman and her baby.  She'd been kicked out of a shelter already, so they were trying to protect her and support her as much as possible underground, because she'd been red-flagged at the shelters and wouldn't be let in without losing her baby.  I tried to stay out of the politics of the situation, but gave a sweater (yep, another small women's sweater) to the cause.  Rena and I decided to come back out on Wednesday to give them some information about local organizations that could help.

We saw Fred again too.  He's visited Temple services the past couple weeks and tried making it out to UC's service at Meyerson, but he got confused and soaked yesterday morning, and ended up not making it.  Still, he was happy to see Rena and me, and he's still studying away for his GRE's.

In the midst of all this, my roommate calls.  "Hey, guys, do you know what happened to those clothes that were laid out on the couch?  Maria left them for me to borrow..."  Crapper snappers (in the words of Rena).  Luckily, we had saved two suit jackets, but, still...

We walked briskly back to where we first handed things out and asked around.  The woman we'd given them to was gone.  (And I didn't have the heart to look for a baby and take a sweater from her.)

Dejected, guilty, foolish, I walked back home with Rena.  I should have this, I shouldn't have that...  We went straight upstairs to apologize to Maria.  "It's ok... you saved the suit jackets, and they are the most important... and as long as you gave the sweaters to someone who needed them..."  We promised to pay her back.  "Aw, stop feeling bad, you guys look pitiful!"

She was gracious, yes, but nights like these I keep beating myself up.  How could God still use me when I just blindly give away someone else's stuff, without even considering that, hey, this looks a little out of place?  Or when I haven't the heart go back tonight and give the guys info to help the mom and her baby... that I'm tired and hungry and it's "dangerous" later at night, so we'll put it off... God, really, am I all that useful to you?  Am I furthering your kingdom or just hindering it?

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. --Ephesians 2:8-9

"As long as someone needed them..."  So, yeah, I made a boo-boo.  I guess it's just a reminder that if anything good comes out of what we do on Mondays... it's not because we did something right.  But that God did.

"don't worry about me"

I'm not the one you should be talking to. You see those guys over there? They need to be talked to. I go to Bible study every week, there ain't no one like me down here. No one.

Above is a brief snippet of my conversation with a homeless brother named Will from Tuesday's outing. When interacting with the homeless community, "don't preach to me" is one of the more common responses I get. But, I've rarely heard "you should go talk to them, they're the hopeless ones, not me."

Throughout our conversation, I tried my best to not judge him, but everything from the alcohol in his breath to the crudeness of his language kept me from believing what Will was saying about himself. However, as the discussion continued, with Will steadily refusing to talk about anything spiritual, I began to see much of myself in Will.

I was reminded of how averse to instruction I had been in the past and how much I still struggle today. I was reminded that my default response to criticism is to point at others and say "at least I'm not that bad." As Christians, we are miles apart from Jesus' example and a humble heart is a must if we are to ever receive instruction and draw closer to Christ. Brothers and sisters in Diakonos, let's all pray for a more teachable heart as we continue serving in this ministry.

let Light shine brightly

Hi Diakonos,

I'll briefly share my thoughts on the past few outings. Each night has been quite different (as many people told me it would be). Even so, the one thing that is constantly pressed onto my heart the entire time is simply that we are in DESPERATE need of Jesus. The homeless people and ourselves too. We all really need our Savior to save us not only from the darkness around us but also from the darkness within our own hearts. It bothers me that my heart breaks so little for the people I encounter. How can I love these people when my heart is so cold?

This past Monday, Albert and I met a guy named Mark who believes Jesus keeps him alive and protects him from harm each day. Praise God! :) He shared that his favorite passage in the bible is Ezekiel 37 - the Valley of Dry Bones. READ IT! I read this passage and wept. God is mighty to save His people. He really is. Let's believe!

-Grace

Monday, February 7, 2011

I went around with Kathryn on Monday, mostly underground.
It is so encouraging when people ask for prayer. The first guy sitting at Love Park, Mike, had fallen on ice a while ago and went to the ER. He had a black eye but a positive hopeful spirit. He asked for prayer that he could get his finances in order so that he could get his health in check, too.

However, the person that stuck out to me the most was a guy named Calvin (I believe). He was sitting underground with 2 other guys.

He started to go off about how the government took away the people who gave out better food and replaced them with religious people, who give out worse food. In his argument, he would magnify seemingly small details as major faults of government and religion. For example, he saw ignorance in the use of pork products due to the number of black Muslims who were homeless. No matter how much we emphasized that we were not here on accord of the government, he didn't want to hear what we were saying.

I guess the loudest message I was hearing was how much Satan lies. He will take the smallest mistakes or occurrences and use them to make people believe that they are being wronged, that good efforts are evil injustices, that God's love is not real and nonexistent. It's so important to act with discernment AND pray against these attacks of the Enemy. It just reminds me that I need to be careful not to believe the devil's lies in my own life.

Sharing my Faith

On Monday, Krystal and I went to the Walnut-Locust area. I had no idea it was that huge. Around the middle of the area, we met this guy named V (that's what people called him). He was in pretty clean sweats and a hoodie, didn't have any bags w/ him, and he looked pretty clean. I thought he might have even just been sitting down there just chilling. But as we talked to him, he told us about how he was on the streets for two years. He just couldn't find work and he was just looking for hope.
We asked if he believed in Christ and he said no, so we walked him through the Gospel. Afterwards, we asked if he wanted to accept Christ right then, but he said he would think about it and wanted to figure stuff out before he made that decision. I felt it was important for him to know that this grace and hope is a free gift for sinners and not people who have earned their way to a certain spirituality, so I told him that one more time. He said the same thing, and after a prayer together, we went on our way.
Afterwards, I was thinking about how necessary and natural it was to share the Gospel with V. I was able to look him in the eye to tell him straight up what it was about. He needed hope, and Christ is the ultimate hope. But why does it work like that for a stranger I met but not for my friends and co-workers? Why do I shy away from sharing my faith to the people I know and care more about b/c I know them? This has been a challenging thought for me. Just as we pray sometimes when we close on Monday nights, I pray that Diakonos is not just a Monday night thing. Praying for that boldness and that same reasoning for sharing our ultimate hope w/ others.
Will give an update soon about how sharing my faith w/ my co-workers go!

Two Weeks: Two Stories

Last Week:

After Kim and I approached three gentlemen, we were immediately welcomed into their circle. They were a tight group, self-proclaimed Three Musketeers. As we talked about Philadelphia, our pasts, our beliefs, a gentlemen came up to us asking for a sandwich. We had run out by that point; however, just as we were about to turn the older man away, one of the three - Sebir - stepped up and offered his food to the man. "Just because we're homeless doesn't mean we're hopeless," he said.

I broke down inside, but held back my emotions. We continued talking with them. As we spoke, a volunteer came down and informed the group that they were handing out hot sandwiches upstairs. "Excuse me," Sebir said politely, "I'm gonna go up and get myself a sandwich." Leaving us with a million dollar smile, he left the circle and headed upstairs. At that moment, all I could think was, God provides.

Yesterday:

Krystal and I were speaking with Tony. He had a contagious enthusiasm in his voice. He had been down on his luck, getting laid off from his job about 3 weeks ago. I brought up the typical topics: Philadelphia, sports, and eventually, religious beliefs. I was not prepared for what I heard next.

"Religious beliefs? Well, I'm a Jehovah's Witness." About one billion unfounded stereotypes came to mind, but most of all, I feared the prospect of a biblical debate. As we continued talking, he spoke endlessly about the doctrine he followed, and anger welled inside of me with every point that conflicted with my beliefs. I want to say that it was "holy anger" but I don't want to give myself too much credit.

I wanted to refute some of the things he was saying, but I did not have much practice defending my faith. As we read the book of Acts for our Bible study, we encounter bold apostles who shared their faith confidently. I realized that I have much to learn and much to prepare for. To be a good witness, we need to practice sharing His word every day.